Do Not Judge?
Not long ago, my wife and I began the process to become licensed foster parents in North Dakota. It has been interesting going through the process here. We’ve been through the foster parent training in three states, and it’s amazing how different it is in each state. Having been foster parents in Iowa, I’ve felt through this process that I’ve had a pretty good idea of what I can expect.
A few weeks back we went down to Bismarck to complete our training. I honestly didn’t have high hopes for the training, not because it wasn’t good information, but because we’ve been through similar training twice already. I honestly didn’t expect to learn much that I didn’t already know. Throughout our training and experience, we’ve had the opportunity to see many different situations. One thing that I’ve learned through all of that is the importance of getting to know the parents. When you receive a child into your home that has been abused or neglected, when they show up with nothing but the clothes on their back and the first thing you want to do is throw them in the bath, it’s easy to start thinking terrible thoughts about the parent. What kind of monster could let this happen to a child? However, when you take the time to understand the parent, while it does not excuse their behavior, it helps you to put it all into perspective and maybe even begin to feel sorry for them.
As we sat through our classes, I was surprised at the number of people whose only thoughts were to save these poor little children from the monsters that had ruined their lives. It broke my heart, because I realized that I had been the same way during our first foster parenting classes. I was just as quick to label these parents, the ones these children lovingly called mommy and daddy, as monsters. What I came to realize, while it doesn’t excuse their behavior, these men and women were simply broken people who were a product of their upbringing and poor choices.
We as a society, and even as a church, are often quick to pass judgement. We’ve all heard the saying, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” The typical response of the Christian is to respond with the next part of scripture, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.” We look to Jesus’ analogy of the man trying to take a speck of dust out of his neighbor’s eye and say that we’re supposed to judge just not in a hypocritical manner. This passage and this topic are often areas that we as Christians aren’t sure how we’re supposed to act and what we’re supposed to do. Since we’re taking time in this series to look at how Jesus’ life and teachings apply to us today, I want us to look at Luke 6:37-42.
As we look at these verses, it almost seems counter-intuitive to say, “Don’t judge, but when you do judge, make sure you’re not doing it hypocritically.” In order to fully understand what Jesus is saying, we need to go beyond just the surface of this passage. What is meant when Jesus says, “Do not judge?”
We make judgements every day, every hour even. In our house we buy milk in bulk and freeze it. As such, when we thaw it and start using it, it’s not uncommon for the expiration date to be virtually meaningless. After a gallon of milk has been in the fridge for a while, upon pulling it out I’ll open it up and give it a good smell just to make sure it’s still okay. In doing that I’m making a judgement. When you’re sitting at a stop sign and you see another car driving down the street, or you’re driving and the stop light turns yellow, you make a judgement. Do you have enough time to get through the intersection before the other car or before the light turns red? We make judgements like this all the time. If we completely refrained from judging, we’d be unable to live our lives.
Likewise, we make judgements about people. We make judgements based upon their body language or how they’re dressed. Have you ever walked into Target wearing a red shirt and had somebody ask you for assistance? Do you react the same when you see a kid standing alone in the store with a scared look on their face versus a kid standing outside the restroom casually watching everybody walk by? In situations like those we make judgements about people, and these are judgements that we need to be making. Obviously these are not the kind of judgements to which Jesus is referring.
The Greek word translated here is krinó. The rough translation means to judge or to pass judgement. It’s used in John 3:17 when it says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” However, condemn is not the best translation in this instance, otherwise Jesus wouldn’t have followed this statement by stating, “Do not condemn.” Instead, these two phrases go hand in hand. Given the context, Jesus is saying, “Do not pass judgement upon people and don’t condemn them.”
This seems to go counter to what we just talked about. We make judgements every day, but making a judgement is different from passing judgement. Making a judgement about someone or something is different from condemning them. Looking at someone and assessing who you think they are is different from looking and passing judgement upon them or condemning them because of who you think they are.
Jesus’ command, “Do not judge,” means exactly that. Do not pass judgement upon other people. There is only one judge and neither you nor I are qualified to take that role. When someone looks at you and tells you, “You can’t judge me, the Bible says so,” they are completely right. That is what this passage says. Just like with the parents of foster children, our job is not to judge them nor condemn them. Our job is to love them, to show them the respect that is due any human being. Similarly, that does not mean that we are to condone their actions or their lifestyle. Instead, we must be discerning without being judgemental.
A judgemental attitude, while we may feel self-righteous and emboldened to point out the wrongs in the world, does nothing more than separate us from the world as we place ourselves above it. This hinders our true mission. It creates a barrier to fellowship and instead creates a reaction of judgement in return. We’ve seen it happen over and over. A person stands in righteous judgement upon their fellow-man, pointing out any and every misdeed without discernment or compassion. In turn, those that have been judged turn the judgement back upon them. Instead of bringing about repentance and forgiveness, the judgement only brings more judgement.
Truthfully, we are not qualified to be the judge. We are emotional beings, are far from impartial, and in most cases we don’t know the full story. It is for this reason that James wrote, “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you – who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:12) Instead we are to forgive and give generously, and the same will be returned to us.
However, as Jesus’ parables indicate, this command against passing judgement does not forbid us from the loving discernment that will help our brother. As we read these parables we see that we first must take the plank out of our own eye.
If you’ve ever flown on an airplane, you’ve heard the safety speech that the flight attendants have to give every time. A part of that speech states that if the plane loses cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the overhead bins. They tell you to put on your own mask before helping the person next to you. If we don’t take care of ourselves, if we don’t have the oxygen we need, we will be unable to help anybody else. Likewise, if we don’t take the plank out of our own eye, we will be unable to help our brother, and that is what we are to do. “First take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Luke 6:42).
Each of us has a duty to help our brother and to guide them into a relationship with the one true judge and savior. The refusal to be judgmental does not mean a refusal to be helpful. Instead we are called to be helpful in our brother’s time of need. When we see the speck in their eye, we are not merely to point it out to them but to help them to remove it, but we are to do so with a spirit of love, grace and understanding. How can we do that if we can’t see because of the plank in our own eye?