When we think of family, we picture the American dream. A husband and wife with their 2.5 children living in a suburban single-family home. Obviously, this doesn’t reflect every family; as such, parenting tends to go hand in hand with the whole concept of family.
We want good things for our kids, to pass on everything we’ve spent a lifetime learning, to instill our values, teach the lessons we’ve learned, and hope that we can keep them from the pain that we’ve experienced. This is precisely what God planned for his people (Deuteronomy 6:2-9).
There are two parts to this command. First, love God and follow his commands. Second, pass the torch to the next generation. It sounds straight forward, but we’re not the only ones working to influence the next generation. There is an entire culture out there seeking to instill its own values and teach its own lessons.
God did not put conditions upon his command. There’s no loophole saying, “Do this, unless it’s hard. Otherwise, don’t worry about it.” Regardless of culture, how do we pass the torch to the next generation and fight against this culture that counter to the truth of God?
Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic bullet for you. I’m still trying to figure out for myself. Each situation is different. Kids seem to come with minds of their own. While I can’t give you specifics, here are some principles of parenting which will help to guide you.
First, parents must be informed. You must understand your kids as well as the culture in which they live. Who are your child’s friends? More than just their friends in the neighborhood. Who do they hang out with when you’re not around?
Do you ask your kids about school and listen to them without being judgmental? I know, you already know how it’s going to end before they finish. While they talk you’ve already come up with your advice or lesson they learn. Don’t do that. Just listen. Don’t react. Don’t try to correct. Soak it all in and allow them to inform you.
With Corona Virus surging, mass, school shootings have been non-existent. In the past we couldn’t go a month without another shooting. Each time the parents of the shooter would be interviewed, and they’d inevitably say, “I can’t believe he’d do something like this. We thought everything was fine.”
Police investigations reveal warning signs–internet searches, notes, and posters which lined the walls of the kid’s room. You wonder, “How could they not have noticed?” The thing is, many parents feel like they can’t enter their child’s room. Well, why not?
That’s their private space, true. Your child doesn’t want you snooping around their room. Instead, develop a relationship that allows you to know what’s going on in your child’s life. There are plenty of valid reasons to enter your child’s room and into their lives while still allowing them some level of privacy.
Maybe your child doesn’t want you in their business. In that case, it’s your job as a parent to lovingly make it your business. Being informed is your first line of defense when it comes to passing the torch to your children. Ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away.
Next week we’ll continue looking at more principles of parenting. Until then, know that your kids matter, and how you raise them matters. There is no cookie cutter approach to parenting, but God’s grace is sufficient to overcome your shortcomings. Seek after him with all your heart, and he will lead you as you seek to lead your family.